‘For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone.
The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes.
To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.’
~ Cynthia Occelli ~
During a transition from one life state into another, sometimes the light pours in and sometimes the darkness takes over. It can slowly transform our awareness from a physical, emotional and mental awareness into a spiritual knowing of who we truly are and what life is all about. It’s life itself taking us by the hand, inviting us to do the work leading to another sense of reality. One that also exists and to which we are deeply connected.
I am not very active at the moment here on Substack, going through a transformational time myself. My art has always guided me through life and I am very grateful. It brought me insights I can put into words nowadays. of course you're wholeheartedly invited to visit my account for some inspiration.
I’m legitimately freaked out by how closely this writing mirrors my life. I joined a year ago with one writing and returned with a tribute to Nikki Giovani and a new found clarity around what the actual fuck has been happening to me the last 5 years. Only I’m 49 - I’ll be 50 in March - and didn’t complete a self portrait…yet.
Your work has inspired me to deepen into the art that is calling in to my soul.
Thank you for being such a clear and pure channel.
Thank you so much! I sometimes doubt the simplicity of my art but I am leaning into it more and acknowledging my own way of communicating through imagery x
Stacey, please start by taking a deep breath and giving yourself grace! You may be dismayed by reading this, but I believe there is another overriding factor for the many symptoms that you are experiencing. It is physiological. It is known as perimenopause. As your hormones enter this rollercoaster in midlife, the sudden decline in estrogen levels affect most body systems. With regards to the brain, the decline in estrogen leads to brain fog and mood disorders, especially free-floating anxiety and depression. As estrogen levels drop, the adrenals go into warp drive, spilling out cortisol and epinephrine, hyping you into sympathetic nervous system effects…often manifesting as feeling jittery, tremulous, palpitations, heart racing, and the like. The ensuing ‘crash’ manifests as a new level of fatigue and a very unwelcome and near-constant sense of exhaustion. There are other sex hormones involved with perimenopause, but we’ll leave that for now.
As a word of caution, but again taking a deep breath and giving yourself grace, as estrogen levels decline rapidly, the inverse happens with the hormone from another organ…insulin, the hormone that regulates energy (as in helping glucose to enter the cells and be used to create energy) spikes higher each time we consume a meal or a snack. If it has difficulty getting the cells to take in the glucose from what we eat, insulin shunts excess calories/glucose into the liver and the fat cells. It does so preferentially to those fat cells that pad the abdominal and waist areas. It also helps to contribute to weight gain. One of the greatest laments of women in perimenopause and beyond is the change in their body compositions/shapes and the weight gain, both of which seem insurmountable to change positively.
Stacey, dear, please know that I mention all of this to you in an effort to help you understand the physiological effects of Mother Nature as you navigate midlife. Take the time to do your own research about the resources available to help you through this journey (especially those that are natural). It is best to avoid the pharmaceutical promises made about synthetic hormones (such as Premarin), which will not relieve your symptoms and are more likely to leave you feeling worse. I believe that your current group of healers will be of immense help to you with these issues.
Once you have found such support and begin to feel clearer thought processes, a stable mood, a calmer outlook, a slimmer physique, and stable weight, then you are better equipped to take a step back and to evaluate your life more objectively. This all will take some time and I heartily encourage you to contemplate how you are feeling as you take each step and move forward and to continue to reflect that in your art. It is so hauntingly stunning that it takes my breath away. Also, please share both your art and your feelings with us! It will help you to realize how powerful an empathetic and supportive community is!
YES! I have learnt more about perimenopause quite recently and I am absolutely convinced that is a huge factor in what I am experiencing. I'm in the search for someone who can support me holistically.
Love your words and your art, I’m a 53 year mother of 3, trying to unravel my anxiety, depression & recent neurodivergent “diagnosis”. Currently studying art therapy & loving its personal exploration.
Thank you for your vulnerability and articulating what you are experiencing here. Creatively sharing these parts of yourself helps us all feel more courageous in working through and sharing our own vulnerabilities and struggles.
‘For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone.
The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes.
To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.’
~ Cynthia Occelli ~
During a transition from one life state into another, sometimes the light pours in and sometimes the darkness takes over. It can slowly transform our awareness from a physical, emotional and mental awareness into a spiritual knowing of who we truly are and what life is all about. It’s life itself taking us by the hand, inviting us to do the work leading to another sense of reality. One that also exists and to which we are deeply connected.
I am not very active at the moment here on Substack, going through a transformational time myself. My art has always guided me through life and I am very grateful. It brought me insights I can put into words nowadays. of course you're wholeheartedly invited to visit my account for some inspiration.
Thank you so much will definitely visit x
I’m legitimately freaked out by how closely this writing mirrors my life. I joined a year ago with one writing and returned with a tribute to Nikki Giovani and a new found clarity around what the actual fuck has been happening to me the last 5 years. Only I’m 49 - I’ll be 50 in March - and didn’t complete a self portrait…yet.
Your work has inspired me to deepen into the art that is calling in to my soul.
Thank you for being such a clear and pure channel.
I love it when there is synchronicity like that! Isn't it just the best.. you are not alone.
Thanks for your honesty, Stacey. I love the raw simplicity of your artwork. 🎨
Thank you so much! I sometimes doubt the simplicity of my art but I am leaning into it more and acknowledging my own way of communicating through imagery x
Stacey, please start by taking a deep breath and giving yourself grace! You may be dismayed by reading this, but I believe there is another overriding factor for the many symptoms that you are experiencing. It is physiological. It is known as perimenopause. As your hormones enter this rollercoaster in midlife, the sudden decline in estrogen levels affect most body systems. With regards to the brain, the decline in estrogen leads to brain fog and mood disorders, especially free-floating anxiety and depression. As estrogen levels drop, the adrenals go into warp drive, spilling out cortisol and epinephrine, hyping you into sympathetic nervous system effects…often manifesting as feeling jittery, tremulous, palpitations, heart racing, and the like. The ensuing ‘crash’ manifests as a new level of fatigue and a very unwelcome and near-constant sense of exhaustion. There are other sex hormones involved with perimenopause, but we’ll leave that for now.
As a word of caution, but again taking a deep breath and giving yourself grace, as estrogen levels decline rapidly, the inverse happens with the hormone from another organ…insulin, the hormone that regulates energy (as in helping glucose to enter the cells and be used to create energy) spikes higher each time we consume a meal or a snack. If it has difficulty getting the cells to take in the glucose from what we eat, insulin shunts excess calories/glucose into the liver and the fat cells. It does so preferentially to those fat cells that pad the abdominal and waist areas. It also helps to contribute to weight gain. One of the greatest laments of women in perimenopause and beyond is the change in their body compositions/shapes and the weight gain, both of which seem insurmountable to change positively.
Stacey, dear, please know that I mention all of this to you in an effort to help you understand the physiological effects of Mother Nature as you navigate midlife. Take the time to do your own research about the resources available to help you through this journey (especially those that are natural). It is best to avoid the pharmaceutical promises made about synthetic hormones (such as Premarin), which will not relieve your symptoms and are more likely to leave you feeling worse. I believe that your current group of healers will be of immense help to you with these issues.
Once you have found such support and begin to feel clearer thought processes, a stable mood, a calmer outlook, a slimmer physique, and stable weight, then you are better equipped to take a step back and to evaluate your life more objectively. This all will take some time and I heartily encourage you to contemplate how you are feeling as you take each step and move forward and to continue to reflect that in your art. It is so hauntingly stunning that it takes my breath away. Also, please share both your art and your feelings with us! It will help you to realize how powerful an empathetic and supportive community is!
Xo Ellen
YES! I have learnt more about perimenopause quite recently and I am absolutely convinced that is a huge factor in what I am experiencing. I'm in the search for someone who can support me holistically.
I so appreciate you're comment.. thank you x
Wow I am in love with your art and words.
Thank you so much!
Love your words and your art, I’m a 53 year mother of 3, trying to unravel my anxiety, depression & recent neurodivergent “diagnosis”. Currently studying art therapy & loving its personal exploration.
Thank you so much! Art is an absolute necessity, I truly believe that. Art therapy is an incredible tool.. how wonderful that you are studying it.
Thank you for your vulnerability and articulating what you are experiencing here. Creatively sharing these parts of yourself helps us all feel more courageous in working through and sharing our own vulnerabilities and struggles.
Thank you so much ❤️